No Whining

(Posed picture of Andrew pretending to whine)

After another full, grueling day in town, I came home with a warning for the kids:

Me:  There will be NO whining whatsoever on Christmas morning!

Alicia and Megan:  What?

Me: I'm just saying....If one of you has half a present more, or if the stockings contain something different than you've gotten before.  There will be no whining.  At all.  No matter what.

Alicia:  You're making it sound like there's going to be a reason to whine.  I know I'm going to whine if there's something to whine about!

Me:  Great.

Andrew:  Mom, what are you getting me for Christmas?

Me:  A lump of coal.

Megan:  What did you get me?

Me:  A pink lump of coal.

Andrew:  Well, I'm excited about my coal.  I'll start a fire with it and it can keep me warm.

Me:  Now that's the right attitude!  We can all learn from Andrew.

Andrew:  But, Mom, are you serious?  Am I really getting coal?

Me: What if you did?

Andrew:  But mom, sniff, I'm not allowed to use matches.  And I really wanted a toy for Christmas.

(p.s. Andrew is not getting coal.  He is getting toys.)

Spring Fever

Alicia: "I think I'm getting spring fever."

Me: "Why do you say that?"

Alicia: "Because my nose has been running and my throat has been hurting and..."

Me: (giggling)

Alicia: What?

Me: "Spring fever" isn't a sickness! It just means you can't wait for spring.

Alicia: Oh. Well, I'm getting some sort of fever.

Me: Hay fever?

Alicia: Yeah


But she's got the actual spring fever too, just like the rest of us,
because our back yard looks like this:

And our front yard has huge piles of snow left over from snow blowing our wide driveway. Since weather is so capricious here, I tell my kids they can't wear shorts until the snow is gone from our yard.
Otherwise, they may end up in shorts during a freak blizzard.
It seems reasonable enough, right?
Not to them.
And to show their gratitude to me for protecting them from hypothermia,
they say things like, "you're ruining my life" and "what a stupid rule."

But at least it gives them a spring hobby:
shoveling the snow around so it will melt faster.

Traveling with Tots

First, Some Math:
4 Kids + 2 Parents + 1 small space + 1 long car ride to Jackson Hole=
8 units of total chaos


What I pack in the survival basket:

Normal stuff: books, activities, snacks, water
Other stuff: wet wipes, paper towels, toilet paper,
throw-up container with a lid!

Jenny's Rules for driving in the car:

#1 No whining about stupid things (Catching Megan mid-whine about a stupid thing).
#2 No annoying repetitive noises.
#3 No dropping things on the floor and then stepping on them.
#4 Use the garbage sack.

Various reactions to watching Andrew utilize the throw-up container
Over and over and over and over again:

Jenny: develops sympathy car sickness
Alicia: rolls down the window so she can breathe unpolluted air
Megan: complains that she is cold and demands that the window be rolled up
Rachel: quietly keeps to herself
Rex: bees grateful and proud of his beautiful wife for packing that handy throw-up container

Here are 2 books on tape that the kids bring:

#1 Gummies to the Rescue! (exclamation mark included)
#2 It's a Small, Small World (a blatant infraction of rule #2)

To my horror, Andrew requests both of them. And. I oblige. Because there's nothing I won't do for a puking four-year-old. (Though, I admit, I turn off the front speakers.)


Four things that happen at once:

#1 Megan, practicing Spanish, asks me, "Are you tomato?" (she means "timido")
#2 Alicia, also practicing Spanish, says, "Quieres take a picture of the river?"
#3 Rex is being a tour guide: "And over here we have Lunch Counter..."
#4 Andrew is fake snoring

And, then I say, "Okay!!! Megan, I'm not a tomato; Alicia, are you meaning you want to take the picture, or you want me to take the picture?; Andrew, that's a very silly fake snore; and, Rex, I'm so very glad that's Lunch Counter. But, if nobody minds, I am just going to read quietly for awhile."

In Afton, the road passes under a huge arch made of elk antlers and this is what I say:
"That's horrible! Think how many elk had to die to make that hideous thing!"
Then Rex says: "Jenny, elk shed their antlers annually."
That's when I say: "Oh."
Then I say: "Well, it's still hideous!"


Then I almost get in trouble when Andrew says,
"Mom, you said something bad."
"Really? What did I say?"
"You said butt!"
Racking my brain, I realize that I said: "I thought those were big buffalo, but they're probably just average."
Before I can explain myself Andrew is chanting, "Buffalo Butt, Buffalo Butt, Buffalo..."
And then he gets in trouble.


But what makes it all worth it
is that on our way home. In the dark. When we're all very tired. And everything else is silent. Megan starts singing "If the Savior Stood Beside Me". And the Spirit is strong and I remember why we take car trips together as a family.

Excited for Disney World?

Here's the reaction we got from our kids about the first plane flight they're about to take to Disney World:

Alicia, age 14: "Everyone says their ears hurt on planes. Could we go deaf on the flight? I don't want to go, if it will make me go deaf."

Rex, who is slightly deaf: "I've flown a lot and it hasn't affected my hearing." (Alicia and I give each other knowing looks).

Me: "But really, you won't go deaf on the plane. We'll be fine. People go on planes all the time. No more worrying."

Rachel, age 12: "Well, I'm not worried. But if I were, I'd be worried that we would crash down and the plane would catch on fire, and my face would be melted off, and they'd have to carry me out on a stretcher, and..."

Me: "I'm so glad you're not worried, then."