Christmas Eve

Due to our no whine policy, Rex started keeping track of any slip-ups on Christmas Eve. Whenever anyone would start saying something negative or nasty he would be right there with his little black book.  It was magical. No one finished a whine they began. After a whole day of keeping score of whine beginnings, we asked Rex how we scored. It turns out that Andrew was the least nasty. The most nasty?  Well....that was me.

Besides taking down info on nasty moments, we spent Christmas Eve doing something else super fun.  Early in the day I had gathered the kids and said, "Look around you. Can you see the messes everywhere?  Do you want to wake up on Christmas to this?" Being the intelligent kids that they are, they realized that wanting to have a clean house would mean having to clean it. So they were very careful to show no interest in cleanliness. And we let the mess stay. I figured it was their Christmas Eve holiday and maybe I could just spruce up a bit that night. 

But that evening after our family Christmas party, I got to thinking...I had been busy ALL day getting last minute Christmas chores done, while the kids had languished on couches with boredom just waiting for their presents to be delivered to them.  I realized they had a lot more energy left in them than I did, and I was the one with a full evening ahead of preparing Christmas. 

I informed the children that Santa just could not come to a messy house. This gave them the encouragement they needed. They de-cluttered, scrubbed, vacuumed, swept, and mopped.

And when they went to bed Santa did come (being ever so careful not to leave sooty tracks on the newly mopped floor).

No Whining

(Posed picture of Andrew pretending to whine)

After another full, grueling day in town, I came home with a warning for the kids:

Me:  There will be NO whining whatsoever on Christmas morning!

Alicia and Megan:  What?

Me: I'm just saying....If one of you has half a present more, or if the stockings contain something different than you've gotten before.  There will be no whining.  At all.  No matter what.

Alicia:  You're making it sound like there's going to be a reason to whine.  I know I'm going to whine if there's something to whine about!

Me:  Great.

Andrew:  Mom, what are you getting me for Christmas?

Me:  A lump of coal.

Megan:  What did you get me?

Me:  A pink lump of coal.

Andrew:  Well, I'm excited about my coal.  I'll start a fire with it and it can keep me warm.

Me:  Now that's the right attitude!  We can all learn from Andrew.

Andrew:  But, Mom, are you serious?  Am I really getting coal?

Me: What if you did?

Andrew:  But mom, sniff, I'm not allowed to use matches.  And I really wanted a toy for Christmas.

(p.s. Andrew is not getting coal.  He is getting toys.)

Two Sizes Too Small

I'm feeling all Grinch-like and Scroogy this Christmas. I wouldn't be surprised to discover my heart really was two sizes too small (which would also explain why I have such a hard time doing exercise). I told my husband last night that he can wish me a Merry Christmas only when Christmas is over!! (I wouldn't be surprised to have a dream about three ghosts who jingle their creepy chains to frighten me into feeling holiday cheer.)

Here are some of my own definitions for holiday terms:

Decorations
A month-long, socially-acceptable mess which the kids get out and I have to clean up.

Holiday Treats
Mood-altering drugs for kids; diet-slaughtering temptations for adults.

Christmas Eve
A late night of slave labor, the result of which will be ripped to shreds in just a few hours.

Christmas Morning
A chipper onslaught to my fatigue

Tradition
An experience which has to be repeated no matter how dumb it is.

Christmas Card
A fancy, expensive way to boast

For those of you who are now worrying about my poor children and wondering how they will survive in such a hostile environment, I have this to say to you: I don't blame you.

Just kidding. Everything's going to be fine.
We'll just let Santa take care of everything this year.