March 3, 2016

The Emergency Situation That Almost Happened But Then Didn't

I put two and two together--my recent oversleeping, Eliza's tummy aches, and Rex's fatigue--and suddenly realized that we were being slowly poisoned to death by carbon monoxide.  I did the sensible thing to do when you're sure deadly gasses are swirling about you by sitting in those gasses in order to research horror stories on the internet.  By the time I was done, I was sure my lungs were burning and I was having a difficult time breathing.  I ran upstairs to wake Rex up in the middle of the night and alert him to the emergency.

His response?  "Jenny, go to bed.  I'm sure it's fine."

Me: "That's what everyone says before right before they die from CO."

Rex:  "Do you know how rare CO poisoning is?  There are like 400 deaths a year in the US out of over 300 million people."

(Yes, this man does memorize statistics.  But I just looked up a statistic of my own.  Men are 2 1/2 times more likely to die from CO poisoning--probably because they say things like this to their wives and then go back to sleep.)

Me:  "Well this year that statistic could include us."

Rex:  frustrated mumbling

Me: "Should we turn down the furnace?  Should we turn off the water heater? I'm going to check the water heater right now."

This finally got Rex out of bed.

Rex: "Do NOT turn of the water heater!  It's a beast to turn back on.  We are FINE.  Go to bed."

Me: "So, we just go to bed and hope to wake up in the morning?  Is that the plan?"

Rex: "Yep.  See you in the morning."

Due to the poisonous gasses I really should have slept in another part of the house heated by it's own furnace but my bed really was so comfortable so hoping against hope that I would wake up the next day I snuggled into bed after all.

Me: "Ok.  Goodnight.  Hopefully we're still alive tomorrow.  Sweet dreams."

And Lo and behold we were.  One of the first things I did was call the local fire station to see if they check for CO levels in homes where there are concerns.  The firefighter said, "You think there's CO in your house right now?"  Then feeling stupid and wanting to explain why I was still inside the house making phone calls I was like, "Um yeah, but like low levels, you know? low enough levels to still be inside, but high enough to want to check.  Like kind of a medium level I guess."

He said they'd be right over.

Fifteen minutes later their huge firetruck pulled up in front of my house in our small town.  For some reason I imagined them bringing a small white utility truck or something?  But no.  Two men came to the house with their machine and walked with me from room to room and guess what they found?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

And while they were finding nothing an ambulance pulled up and five more guys got out to help.  Must of been a slow day at the station.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang and it was the sheriff.  At this point there were three emergency vehicles in front of my house and eight men inside of it. 

All for nothing.  Except a little peace of mind on my part and a near future of uninterrupted sleep for my poor husband.

The end. 


  1. Hee heeeee!!! The Belligerent Blogger strikes again! So glad you were paranoid so that I could enjoy this fine story tonight. Sorry about the stomach aches for Eliza. Pretty sure the cause of your oversleeping and Rex's fatigue are now quite clear. No more scary late night internet searches for you for a few weeks. Don't worry, I'll catch you up on anything you might miss while you're away.😳

  2. So funny! I could have totally done something like that. We are mother lions ready to protect our den, right?