March 7, 2016
All the Single Ladies! All the Single Ladies!!
So I'm at an education week church conference. I see that some members of the class are staying behind to ask the teacher questions and I decide I'd like to listen in. So I gather up all my stuff and head to the front of the room where I see only one chair that hasn't been saved with stacked books and papers and coats. I sit down on the edge of it, worried that someone will think I'm trying to take over more seats than one, but I plan to immediately reassure those saving the seats around me that I will only be using one single seat.
At this point a man approaches me and asks if I'm single. Ready to defend my seat, I confidently tell him that I am. But then his eyes light up and he starts hitting on me. And I realize that when someone says, "Are you single?" (and you happen to not be wearing your wedding ring at the moment) they are really asking if you are unmarried. Which makes so much more sense than some guy saying "Excuse me, but I am just super interested as to whether or not you will be occupying just this one seat for the next lecture, or more than one seat. That kind of information just fascinates me."
I sit there like a dork as he tries to get some sort of response out of me. I'm thinking that I got myself into this embarrassing situation and there is no need to drag him through the embarrassment by saying, "Oh, you meant unmarried single. Whoops, I thought you meant the using one seat kind of single. Super easy to get confused, am I right?"
He tells me there's a dance and a barbecue. And would I be around that night? Was I staying in town? Do I think I could make it? I just look dazed and confused and try to give very noncommittal, unintelligible answers. Finally he gives up and walks away.
As soon as his back is turned, I run out of the room and call Rex to fill him in. We both laugh at my ability to get in sticky situations.
Later that evening Rex tries calling me when I'm sitting in class (using only one seat, I might add. Single as can be). I quickly turn off my ringer and text that I can't talk and explain why. He texts back, Are you REALLY in class, or are you at a dance? Ha ha
Very funny. (You know, if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it--or at least reminded me to wear it, because obviously I can't be trusted to verbally convey my marital status.)
Someone get me my ring already!