Andrew is a very sensitive little boy which I love, but along with that comes this ability to turn minute injuries into major events. Today during one of his injury drama fests I told him he'd be okay and said, "Man up!"
He paused for a second, then threw himself on the floor and said, "No, it's man down!"
November 16, 2009
November 10, 2009
Comments Turned On
I'm turning the comments on again. I've gotten more accomplished, but I've missed hearing from you.
NAL Tournament
If you ever want to feel totally stupid, just go to a Jr. High National Academic League tournament. I brought a notebook and pen to write my own answers to the questions they would ask and see how many I could get. I did awesome. Out of the 50 questions asked, I wrote down one answer. Yep, I'm practically a genius.
They asked things like this:
If Susan has a dad and Susan, Sally, and Sabrina are playing tennis with Bob, Carl, and Stanley, and Sally likes tennis...who is Susan's dad?
Or something like that. At least it made about as much sense as that. Or maybe I was just having a hard time concentrating because the lady next to me was doing a cross stitch and every time she pulled the needle through it came within an inch of my eyeball.
And while I was completely out in the dark (and getting threatened with blindness), twelve and thirteen year-olds were rattling off the answers. It's so humiliating to have to encounter your own ignorance like that.
They asked things like this:
If Susan has a dad and Susan, Sally, and Sabrina are playing tennis with Bob, Carl, and Stanley, and Sally likes tennis...who is Susan's dad?
Or something like that. At least it made about as much sense as that. Or maybe I was just having a hard time concentrating because the lady next to me was doing a cross stitch and every time she pulled the needle through it came within an inch of my eyeball.
And while I was completely out in the dark (and getting threatened with blindness), twelve and thirteen year-olds were rattling off the answers. It's so humiliating to have to encounter your own ignorance like that.
Smells, Socks, and Sleeves
The Sleeve
Me: Have you been wiping something on your sleeve?
Andrew: Yes!
Me: What?
Andrew: Boogers!
The Smells
Rachel's NAL tournament today was fun besides the fact that horrible smells kept attacking my olfactory glands. I finally asked Andrew if he was producing the smells and he fessed up to it. I then started whispering threats to him requiring him to do his best NOT to produce those smells. He obviously had no fear of my threats as the smells kept getting worse--especially embarrassing since we were trapped in a mob of people in a tightly enclosed space.
Thank you, Andrew, for adding that to my collection of horribly embarrassing moments.
The Socks
Mid-tournament, Andrew pulled off his heavy winter boots to expose thick socks soaked in sweat. He then lay on his back, put his feet on my lap and said, "Mom, give me a foot rub."
Ummm, are there any volunteer babysitters for Andrew during the next tournament?
November 9, 2009
Anybody Want Some Money?
If you don't come get it quick, it'll probably all be gone as we're throwing it out the window as fast as we can.
Our first money dump happened due to a much-needed visit from the plumber. I called with a list the size of Santa's list of naughty names and mentioned, "There's no hurry. We've been living with these problems for six years so we can deal with them a little longer." The plumber must have been seeing dollar signs, however, because he showed up almost immediately. I took him on a tour of the dysfunctional faucets, sprayers, and sink handles. As I was demonstrating the problems with our shower, the water handle fell off in a pile of rusty mess. He tried to stay professional as he stared at the rusted, broken handle I was holding. We figured out the cheapest, white-trash solutions for everything and then I left him to his work.
Four hours later, he finished. As he walked toward me with the bill, he actually said, "Oh good. I'm glad you're sitting down." (That is not a good sign, folks). Then I saw the charges. I was charged for living far away from the plumbing office, then I was charged for the trip the plumber took to get the supplies he hadn't brought with him, and then of course the service call, the labor, and the parts. Yikes!
When Rex came home I complained all about it, but he had a hard time being miserable with me since he was so excited about finally getting his tractor out of the shop. When he got away from my complaining, he went out to finally till our garden. We watched as he drove past us while hooting and hollering and waving. (We get so excited about our redneck playthings).
His happiness came to an abrupt end, however, when he forgot to turn the key to the right spot and burned out the starter. So after paying the repair prices, buying and replacing the tines (sp?), we get to buy a new starter too. The excitement never ends.
Then when the mail came today, we had hefty bills from the dentist and the insurance company. And to top it all off, our new vacuum died on us so we'll need to replace/repair that before the piles of dirt get any higher.
Our first money dump happened due to a much-needed visit from the plumber. I called with a list the size of Santa's list of naughty names and mentioned, "There's no hurry. We've been living with these problems for six years so we can deal with them a little longer." The plumber must have been seeing dollar signs, however, because he showed up almost immediately. I took him on a tour of the dysfunctional faucets, sprayers, and sink handles. As I was demonstrating the problems with our shower, the water handle fell off in a pile of rusty mess. He tried to stay professional as he stared at the rusted, broken handle I was holding. We figured out the cheapest, white-trash solutions for everything and then I left him to his work.
Four hours later, he finished. As he walked toward me with the bill, he actually said, "Oh good. I'm glad you're sitting down." (That is not a good sign, folks). Then I saw the charges. I was charged for living far away from the plumbing office, then I was charged for the trip the plumber took to get the supplies he hadn't brought with him, and then of course the service call, the labor, and the parts. Yikes!
When Rex came home I complained all about it, but he had a hard time being miserable with me since he was so excited about finally getting his tractor out of the shop. When he got away from my complaining, he went out to finally till our garden. We watched as he drove past us while hooting and hollering and waving. (We get so excited about our redneck playthings).
His happiness came to an abrupt end, however, when he forgot to turn the key to the right spot and burned out the starter. So after paying the repair prices, buying and replacing the tines (sp?), we get to buy a new starter too. The excitement never ends.
Then when the mail came today, we had hefty bills from the dentist and the insurance company. And to top it all off, our new vacuum died on us so we'll need to replace/repair that before the piles of dirt get any higher.
November 7, 2009
Spellbound
I thoroughly enjoyed the movie Spellbound that we recently got through Netflix. This documentary follows eight spellers as they prepare for the national spelling bee in Washington D.C. and then shows the final spell-down.
As you watch, you start thinking that these people can't be for real, and you're sure you're watching a mockumentary.
Some of my favorite quotes (from memory):
Rancher: "You know, not all Mexicans are lazy and stupid." (Really? Can you believe someone really said this?!)
Mother: "Our son's only interests are shooting and exploding things, so he'll either end up in the military or in jail."
Mother: "I think our daughter gets her spelling abilities from us. We like to be creative with our words, for example we have a fridge magnet which says, 'bee happy'."
Boy Speller: "Do...I...sound....like....a...talking....robot?"
As you watch, you start thinking that these people can't be for real, and you're sure you're watching a mockumentary.
Some of my favorite quotes (from memory):
Rancher: "You know, not all Mexicans are lazy and stupid." (Really? Can you believe someone really said this?!)
Mother: "Our son's only interests are shooting and exploding things, so he'll either end up in the military or in jail."
Mother: "I think our daughter gets her spelling abilities from us. We like to be creative with our words, for example we have a fridge magnet which says, 'bee happy'."
Boy Speller: "Do...I...sound....like....a...talking....robot?"
October 31, 2009
October 28, 2009
October 26, 2009
Clocks and Church Ladies
Yesterday as we went into church, we got seats on the side of the room near the very front. I thought Andrew was demonstrating his enjoyment of church services when he said, "These are great seats!" But then he added, "We're right by the clock."
Later, as I was re-clipping Andrew's bow tie I said, "Gosh! This bow tie is not staying on." Then the lady in front of me turned around and said, "Could I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"Gosh is a derivative of 'God' and it's offensive. I just thought you should know."
"Uh, okay. Thanks."
(Rex said I should have responded with, "Oh my heck! I'm sorry.")
Then Rex and I were peering over the church lady's shoulder to see if she were wearing a wedding ring just as the speaker was talking about Sabbath behavior and reverence in church.
After church, a member of the quorum of the seventy asked if our kids were drugged on Benadryl. I was disturbed about a church official asking us about drugging our children, but then he explained that he was just impressed by how quiet they were.
All in all it was a great day at church.
Later, as I was re-clipping Andrew's bow tie I said, "Gosh! This bow tie is not staying on." Then the lady in front of me turned around and said, "Could I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"Gosh is a derivative of 'God' and it's offensive. I just thought you should know."
"Uh, okay. Thanks."
(Rex said I should have responded with, "Oh my heck! I'm sorry.")
Then Rex and I were peering over the church lady's shoulder to see if she were wearing a wedding ring just as the speaker was talking about Sabbath behavior and reverence in church.
After church, a member of the quorum of the seventy asked if our kids were drugged on Benadryl. I was disturbed about a church official asking us about drugging our children, but then he explained that he was just impressed by how quiet they were.
All in all it was a great day at church.
October 19, 2009
Family Pictures
This weekend we attempted to take family pictures.
Here are just a few of the obstacles we encountered...
Before Pictures:
We didn't have enough similar clothes for pictures, so I borrowed clothes from three different people.
We had a hard time figuring out schedules. We put pictures off for days and days until we finally squeezed it in between church and an evening meeting Rex had. This was none too soon, as all the fall leaves fell of the trees over night due to strong winds.
Another dilemma was trying to decide on a photographer. Professional? Neighbor? Extended family? We decided on a tripod.
During pictures:
Megan burst into tears and lamented that she looked fat in her outfit.
When I was doing last-minute touches on Andrew, I accidentally poked him in the eye and he was bawling and rubbing his eyes while trying to say, "It's all right. I'm fine. I'm okay..."
Rachel kept saying, "I don't know how to smile. How should I smile?"
Alicia's blouse was too big, so we put a hair clip on the back to keep it tighter. The hair clip kept popping off and Megan kept saying, "Why does she get to have a clip? My blouse makes me look fat. I need a clip on mine. How come I don't get one?"
After a few shots in clothes that didn't end up matching, Rex announced it was time for his meeting. The rest of us changed our clothes and took pictures focused on the kids. (We were still taking pictures when he got back).
I tucked in Andrew's shirt at least 25 times, but I don't think it stayed tucked for a single picture. (Maybe it's because it's two sizes too small? )
Since Andrew is a boy and we were outside, his knees became covered in grass stains.
At one point when Andrew tried to run off and play, I pulled him back and said, "We're not here to have fun. We're here for the pain and suffering of family pictures." Suddenly he punched me then innocently explained, "You said pain!"
After pictures:
When we were all finished, I noticed that the camera was on the wrong setting and all the pictures turned out blurry.
Upon looking at the 250 pictures we took, I chose about 4 that would have worked out--if not blurry. The others either had too harsh of lighting, bad color combinations, or someone was making a face. ("Boastful" has some of the blurry favorites if you'd like to pop over and see.)
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