January 13, 2009

I Looked out the Window...

So I'm happily driving down the road, belting out my favorite primary song (having to do with popcorn and apricot trees) when Andrew interrupts me with a question:
"Mom, what are all those signs for on the side of the road?"
Me: "Oh they're all for different reasons, but some have numbers on them to tell you how fast you should be going. On that sign we just passed, the number says '50'. So I should be going that speed".
I look at my speedometer: 60.
Before I can slow down, I notice I'm passing a cop who immediately follows me with lights flashing.
"See, Andrew, now mommy is getting pulled over by a cop. This is what happens when we don't follow the signs on the side of the road."
When the officer comes to my window he asks one of the inane questions cops are so fond of:
Cop: "Is there a legal reason for you to be speeding?"
Is somebody kidding?
Me: "No"
A legal reason for speeding? I couldn't quite remember covering that unit in driver's ed. (Ummm...I'm having a baby right now?......I'm a cop too, I just forgot my car with flashing lights?...I work for UDOT as a certified speed-tester...in my unmarked car...with a small child...)
At least I didn't take the cop seriously like I did once when I was 18 (when I must have been a bit more blonde). This is what happened then:
The cop asked: "Where's the fire?"
Me: "I have no idea where the fire is. Don't you know? Can't you find out on your radio?"
Surprisingly enough I didn't get a ticket after the dumb blonde scenario, but I unfortunately did get one today.

Oh well, I guess I can just chalk this one up as an important lesson for Andrew where he learned
a) What those signs are really for on the side of the road
b) You should never sing primary songs while driving (especially when they require hand gestures)
c) Even though cops ask silly questions, they expect you to keep a straight face when answering
d) All of the above
e) None of the above


  1. It's good I have you to teach Andrew these important lessons. I usually just teach things like, hurry and duck here comes a police officer and you aren't in your car seat. Do you think anyone from child welfare services reads your blog?

  2. I LOVED this post. It's going in my to be reread when I need a good laugh file.

  3. Oh drat, I was just waiting for the part where Andrew says something darling to the cop and he lets you off the hook. At least it makes a lovely story!