January 14, 2010

Basketball Basics

Somehow I have found myself as the girl's basketball coach for our church team.  I love hanging out with the girls and I'm excited to support them in sports, but there's one problem:  I have no idea how to play the game.

When the stake coordinator called me to ask for a count, I thought it would be a perfect time to demonstrate my ignorance by asking, "By the way, how many girls play at a time?"

It was quiet for a while.

Then she said, "Five."

After our conversation, I'm pretty sure she has full confidence in me--but just in case, I've spent the day frantically reading about the rules of basketball.  My main source of authoritative information has been "The Great American Bathroom Book" where I have read such fascinating and informative excerpts as the following:

           The object in basketball is to score more points than the opposing team before a set time expires.  The offensive team (the team with the ball) scores points by advancing the inflated leather or rubber ball as near as possible to their own goal, and shooting it through a basket-like metal hoop.  These same players then become defensive players, to try to stop the opposing team from scoring at their end of the court.

After reading this I think I'm ready.  Now it'll just be up to those offensive girls to get that inflated leather or rubber ball into the basket-like metal hoop.

Wish us luck!


  1. Hilarious! Go you for doing it anyways! You'd have to tie me up to get me to coach ANY sport! LOL. Funny story about the swamp, btw.

  2. Is that part of your calling?!? Remind me not to ever accept that calling.
    Ani refused to even try being in basketball. I think I've handicapped my kids big time when it comes to sports.

  3. Jenny you will do great. All they need is a someone to show up and cheer them on. Tell them to go out and "be aggressive" and that about covers it. Good Luck!!

  4. YOU are coaching basketball? wowza. go, fight, win. i think now that you have the definition from the bathroom book - you should be fine. make sure you explain the game to the girls the first night in those exact words ... ya know, so they know how smart you are.

  5. I kind of got lost at the 'advance the ball' part. How do you advance a ball? (or inflated rubber thing)

  6. Put the ball in the hoop. Don't hit the other girls. That should about do it. I would be really, really bad at coaching girls b-ball! Good luck!