Reader's Digest Entries

I was recently cleaning out my old word files and found some family moments I had written as possible entries for Reader's Digest humor page.  
Here they are:

#1

I was giving a history lesson to my children and I told them about William the Conqueror who sailed across the English Channel.  Hearing the word "channel", my daughter looked confused and said, "He sailed through the TV?"  My husband responded, "Yeah, it's called the BB Sea!"

#2

I was being particularly ornery one day and I was snapping at everyone.  It wasn’t helping that my eye was hurting.  When I asked my husband if he could see anything in my eye, he glanced at me and then said, “Yep!  It’s a beam.”

#3

School was out, and my kids came home looking less than perky.  I asked my two glum-looking daughters, “How were your days?” My ten-year-old replied, “Numbered.”

#4

One Easter, my mom was teaching my daughter, Megan, about the Last Supper.  When they strayed from the topic, Megan said, “Grandma, tell me more about the First Breakfast.”

#5

One Sunday afternoon, my husband put our daughter into time out.  He was standing outside her door and I heard him tell her the familiar line that this punishment was hurting him more than it was hurting her.  Then he added, “Because I wanted to take a nap in there.”

Which one should I send in?