April 28, 2010

Get me to the church on time

My very youngest sister got married last month.
I think I was very helpful on her wedding day.  Here's how:

First, I came over early in the morning and helped her with her hair.  And I made the brilliant
suggestion that we try something new.  (Always a very good idea on a wedding day).  She usually lets her hair down right after she's curled it, but she was worried that the curl wouldn't stay in.  I talked her into letting me pin up every curl and carefully spray it so when she took out the bobby pins the curl would really hold. 
Well, it held.
When she took the pins out she looked exactly like a poodle.
Boy, was she glad!
It took her forever to get the curls straitened out to a normal wave.

Then when we were taking sister pictures with Emily, I did my part to make sure the pictures turned out awesome!  In the first pictures I have a look of disturbance on my face as I'm feeling the wind work on picking up my skirt.  In the next few pictures I'm sporting a look of mortal fear as the wind had won out and my skirt had flipped all the way up to my shoulders.  Then in the last pictures I'm holding the back of my skirt and looking apologetically at the people behind me.
Those pictures will be real prizes! 

Then there was a nieces and nephews picture with Jake and Emily.  I walked up to my son, brushed him off, and straightened his tie.  Then I was eye-level with my nephew's dirty knees and started slapping at them to remove the dirt and grass stains.  After the pictures I noticed that my nephew's knees were totally clean.  I realized that I had been slapping some other kid's knees--a kid from Jake's side of the family.
I'm sure he appreciated me!  I mean everyone loves a good knee-slapping from a complete stranger, right?

Later, just before the reception, I set a small basket on the table holding Emily's gorgeous cake.  Suddenly the entire table collapsed and the cake was upside down on the floor.  No one talked for a long time.  We all sat silently staring at the cake's corpse.  It's sweet goodness sprawled all over.  I felt like I'd just murdered the cake decorator's baby.
Fortunately the decorator can bring cakes back from the dead.  She resurrected it beautifully and no one ever knew the difference.
(These pictures show the beautiful cake before the disaster, during the disaster, and after the magic comeback.)

Right after the cake episode, Emily was just walking away from me (and my helpful nature), when a very kind member of the kitchen help accidentally stepped on her train and ripped a gaping a hole in the backside of her dress. 
This time it wasn't my fault. 
Fortunately the dressmaker has magical powers too and fixed the hole before anyone even knew  it was there.

The last exciting moment of the evening was when Andrew walked up to me with his hands cupped over his mouth and asked for somewhere to dump the throw up he was holding.  I'm sure I increased the appetites of the guests when I grabbed a plate off the cake table and let him dump it there in front of everyone waiting for cake.

Yep, I was mighty helpful all day. 


  1. wow jenny - i had no idea you were so helpful. :-) i knew all those things happened (except the knee slapping) but when you put it all together in a post and point out that you were behind most of them - it is really quite humorous... at your expense of course.
    i can't believe star's cake! i didn't realize she really had to build the whole cake again. i didn't know anyone had a 'during the catastrophe' picture. it's amazing that the day turned out so well even with you there. :-) (but for reals - you MADE that wedding awesome, remember??)

  2. I think you and I are kin. Just yesterday I met the girls from my ward at the park. As I was chatting with them I stepped backward into someones plate right on the ketchup portion. Ketchup was all over. I felt bad for the plate owner too.

    I then smiled and shook my head and thought, "Only I consistently pull stuff like that off." I know Peter is ever so proud of me and my many such incidences.

    But now I'm thinking that perhaps you have me beat :-)

    ps. I think your sister's hair looks awesome and that Star is a good friend to have. She really did raise that cake from the dead!

  3. Have I mentioned that I really like your blog?

  4. I'll never think of 'knee-slapper' in the same way again. I love that serene look on Star's face as she ressurects the cake. I'm going to file that into my little file of inspirational moments. I wish I'd had you to help me with my hair on my wedding day, I really think it looks great.

  5. Oh, wow. Look how resilient everyone and everything was, though! I really love that pick of the nieces and nephews. It's like when they direct everyone to do something crazy - except this wasn't posed. Emily looks fabulous. Great cake fix-up Star. It looks as if the wedding turned out wonderful despite your efforts.

  6. Hey! I have magical powers. One of which is that this comment will disappear shortly after I post it. What up?

  7. Look! It's still there!
    You must have changed something.
    Hooray for your contributions to the wedding! I love that picture of all the nieces and nephews. I can tell which nephew you knee-slapped by the look on his face. And also that he's the only non-Songer nephew.

  8. You make me laugh (and my husband when I tell him what you wrote.) You're little sister grew up! I still think of her as about 12 years old. I wish my hair looked as good as hers does.

  9. Awesome post, mostly because I'm in it. Just kidding! You are so funny, I love how you take the blame for all the horror when you actually should be praised for all the hard work and fabulousness you provided! It turned out lovely, though the cake/dress fiasco which all happened within minutes was a bit unnerving. I have to say there was divine intervention with the cake resurrection. I had about 1/4 cup of leftover frosting, and after saying a little prayer that I could make it look decent, the frosting was like the loaves and the fishes. I can't explain it any other way. Seriously the whole back half of the bottom layer was all frosting. Someone is living right, it must be Emily...or Jake.

  10. Jenny! I love the post. I had no idea that Star makes wedding cakes, but to tell you the truth I'm not surprised. Sounds like a miracle. I like when you said, "no one talked for a long time" That is exactly how it is during moments like that. I'm so glad everyone was able to rebound and have a good time.