Three White Trash Solutions

#1
Ants

So I notice ants parading from a crack in the kitchen baseboard, up the wall, and into the nearby garbage can.
I decide, maybe I should keep the kitchen cleaner. More clean? Whatever.
So I start washing the wall near the garbage. After three swipes with my wet paper towel, the paint comes right off.
Nice.
Then I vacuum up the line of ants.
And to block the crack? I wet a paper towel and stuff it in.
Problem solved.

#2
Leaking Kitchen Sprayer

Rex tried fixing it. He replaced the washer. It still leaked. He replaced it again. It still leaked. He then siliconed that baby like silicon was going out of style.
And it still leaked.
Our solution? Let it hang into the bowl of the sink and leak there.
Forever.

#3
Leaking Bathtub Faucet.

90% of the available shower water comes out the faucet instead of the shower head.
No problem.
Mid-shower, I devise a plan using Andrew's bath toys.
I stuff his two toy snakes under the thingy to block the flow and now I use the same method every time I take a shower.