December 8, 2008

Beauty Just Isn't Practical

Last time our family went to Yellowstone, I was beyond hideous in every picture. I guess I was thinking Hey I'm in nature. I can be natural. But I had forgotten that the camera would be so active during my commune with nature.

This time I wasn't going to let the ugly be documented. I woke up early and beautified. My hair was gorgeous, my makeup was done and I was ready to be photographed. At our first stop of the day I handed the camera to Rex then went and stood by the kids. I tried to be like, I don't care if you take a picture of us. . . We're just sitting here acting natural. . . Just do what you feel is best. . . I think I know what that will be. I thought for sure he would look at his lovely wife surrounded by his darling children all arranged on the rolling boulders and feel an inner urge to document the moment.

He walked right past us and started taking pictures of the waterfall. Feeling a little deflated I said, "Rex, do you think you could take a picture of us?"

He looked at me and said, "Sure, let me just take some of this waterfall first."

He cocked his head, angled the camera, took a picture. Took a step to the right, and shot the waterfall from that totally different angle. Then he crouched down and took a shot from the lower angle. . .

Needless to say, by the time the waterfall (not even related to us) was fully documented, the children were long gone. They had all scattered and were exploring the hills. Didn't they know I had beautified?

By this time my long hair was blowing all over, whipping me in the face, and sticking to my lip gloss and the sun's glare was searing my eyes without the shade from my favorite hat. Beauty can be very uncomfortable, especially if you're not used to it, and I was really starting to reach my limit of beauty tolerance.

Rex, camera in hand, followed the kids up the trail to get a better view of the waterfall. I thought I might join them, but watching them exercise made me hungry.

I decided to go back to the car and eat. I found a peach and couldn't imagine how I would bite into it with all the lip gloss I was wearing, so I wiped it off. Then my hair kept getting blown into my mouth, so I pulled it back into its usual ponytail. And, finally, to block out the sun, I stuck on my hat.

The beauty was gone.

When the family returned, Rex handed me the camera and I got a picture of my post-beautiful self reflected in the car window.

The ugly was once again documented.


  1. hahahahaha! that's awesome. nice try with the silly face, but you're still a beauty.

  2. I love it. That's how I live my life.
    Take comfort in knowing that there are way more documented instances of you looking good than of me looking good.
    That's because there are way more instances of you looking good.

  3. So true and so funny. I was just looking through last year's Christmas cards and I noticed that in all the family pictures the mom looks fantastic. It doesn't really matter how the rest of the family looks. If mom looks good, then that is the picture to be chosen. I guess we moms have that longing to document our beauty! Even though it seems impossible most of the time! Thanks for your posts, I look forward to reading them.

  4. you make me giggle Jen nay! I think that is the first and only of the "uglies" I have ever seen of you...think pioneer trek when you looked perfect the whole time without trying. Natural beauty is blessed that way~

  5. Oh gosh! This is sooo dang funny! I can really relate. Peter always makes fun of how not-so photogenic I am. I should show you some of my pictures. For our last anniversary we went to dinner and Peter took some pictures of me eating (NICE!) They were horrendous so I decided to get some of him and they were super bad too and before you knew it we were dying laughing and trying to get the ugliest pictures we could of each other. We looked like a couple of trolls. It was so super funny. We also suspect that our "virgin" pina colodas may have been accidentally spiked and might have had something to do with our unacceptable behavior in the restaurant. :-)

  6. Did anyone mention how gorgeous that waterfall was?

    Of Course Honey you are always beautiful to me!!!

  7. Ok, somehow I missed this post - so I am just now reading it. It's so funny how you said your hair was sticking to your lip gloss and how fast you got tired of being pretty. Nobody else but you dares to write a post dedicated to the status of their beauty. That is why you win the katie hale prize of most interesting blog. (oh and that is a very coveted prize so feel good)

  8. Man, I ignore the blogging world for a few weeks, and you start posting ugly pictures of yourself online? I've really been missing out! I am just giddy with the anticipation of reading all the rest of your posts that I have missed! You also win the Star Primm prize of most entertaining blog, which is almost as coveted as that katie hale prize.